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-[My other episode transcript is a porsche]
+[My other episode transcript is a Porsche]''<nowiki/><nowiki/>''<nowiki/>''<nowiki/>''
-J: Welcome to Train Hot Dog, the podcast where i talk to myself on a train. I'm here with special guest, April.
-A: Where he's also talking to me. So it's not just himself.
--Also to you, the listener! Today we're going to be talking about stadium food. But first: Rider Mail!
-- (laughs)
-- Alright, hang on when I find the Rider Mail; I have --
-- Hey -- did you ever...
-- What's up?
-- ... Did you ever do that train -- the Train Hot Dogs that we did, ah, when we were on the road trip?
-- I did post those, yes.
-- I'm ''that'' person.
-- Ah, this -- that's right, yeah; also, from "[[Steam Hot Dog]]".
-- That's right!
-- Ah, this Rider's from the 516 area code. This Rider writes, "What the fuck?" Or I ...  so I assume; it could be any four-letter word that starts with 'F', and then has three asterisks.
-- Yeah like what the ff...
-- Fork.
-- Fart.
-- (dryly) "What the fart"?
-- (laughs)
-- Ah, there's another Rider Mail if I can just find it...(pause)
-- That's a lot of mail.
-- Yeah this is all of Re- mail that i have looked at and marked -- or -- ''and/or'' marked as 'Read.' And there's another one that I marked as 'Unread.' Here we go: this Rider is from the Gustav Klimt area code. This Rider writes, "Gustav Klimt has sent you a $15 Subway eGift Card!"
-- (impressed) Wow.
-- "...Your Subway eGift Card is redeemable at participating stores in the U.S. via the Subway App, or via order.subway.com. Click the link below to claim your gift!"
-- Maybe we can get Subway at the stadium.
-- Maybe. (thinks) Ah, but, um ..''. in case we don't'', what else might we find at the stadium?
-- I dunno; we should Google it.
-- Oh.
-- Oh. But there's a ... (laughs, realizing) you were asking ''me''. (laughs)
-- Yes! (laughs) So --
-- There are hot dogs ...
-- Presumably they have Cream Of Wheat.
-- <span>(pronounces each food very distinctly) </span>... Bratwursts ...
-- Bratwursts, okay ...
-- ... um, beer ...
-- (repeats) Beer.
-- ... by the bucket ...
-- (amused) Really? They sell buckets?
-- Buckets of beer.
-- Uh huh?
-<span>(train noises start getting louder)</span>
-- Ah ... there are ... nachos ...
-<span class="">(train noises start getting very loud)</span>
-- (louder) Uh huh?
-- ... burritos ...
-(train noises suddenly grow very quiet again)
-- They have burritos ...?
-- ... steak sandwiches ... (CUT)
-- (impressed) Whoa.
-- I think. I believe I've seen those before. There's ...
-- (thinking it over) Okay ...
-- ... y'know ... -- (CUT) -- and, ah, chocolate malts ...
-- (jazzed) Oh, man. Malts're pretty delicious.
-- Yeah, you eat them with a wooden spoon.
-- Really?
-- That's what they come with!
-- So, is this literally just a bo-- like a melted-down box of Whoppers?
-- No, it's like ice cream. Chocolate malt ice cream.
-- I see. Okay, so ... ah this, I searched for 'stadium food' and the results are all "Best Stadium Food", or "Insane Stadium Foods". what I'm actually looking for is, like, "Most Regular Stadium Foods". I'll -- 'kay -- I'll search for ''that''.
-- 'most common ...'
-- 'most regular ..."
-- (approving) 'most regular...' the one -- like, they keep you regular?
-- Yeahh, let's just ...
-- (flatly) For ''pooping.''
-- ... prunes on a stick. ... Ehh! (disbelieving) I searched for 'most regular' and it gave me "Most Insane"!
-- (guffaws)
-- (to search engine) ''This is the ''opposite'' of what I want, DuckDuckGo!'' ... "Ridiculous".
-- Uhm-hm.
-- ''<nowiki/>'Ridiculous'' Stadium Foods'.
-- Oh there's -- look: ''<nowiki/>'''6'' Regular". ''It says it right there.
-- Yeah, it's ... OK ... yeah, that word is included.
-- Yup.
-- <span>(with contempt) </span>Ah, ''"Highest Prices"'' <span>,</span> ''"Best", "Best"'' ...
-- Let's search for 'best ''Oakland A's'' food'.
-- (laughing) ... Okay ...
-- Because that's where we're going.
-- Okay. (typing again) 'best oak land' -- (declares) "The Land of Oaks!"
-- "Until We Cut them All Down."
-- (wryly) I tried to type 'A's' and it said 'ass'.
-- (chuckles) That's ... pretty much how they've been playing this year.
-- Yeah?
-- Yeah.
-- (like a catchphrase) Sports!
-(both laugh)
-J: Ah ... "What to Eat at the Coliseum, Home of the Oakland A's" Eater--
-A: Oh there we go; this looks promising.
-- "Eater SF." This is good; I'm glad we did this. Eater: "In stark opposition to the glorious food options at AT&T Park" -- where's AT&T Park?
-- That's in San Francisco.
-- Is that the Giants' thing?
-- Yes.
-- Okay. ... They don't call that, just, "The Giants Stadium"?
-- Non-None of them get called by their real name 'cause they're all sponsored by huge com-- big companies.
-- Right. Yeah, I remember when, ah --
-- It's the world we live in.
-- -- Jack Murphy Stadium in uh, San Diego was getting renovations, and the city couldn't pay for the renovations ...
-- Petco ... Park, or whatever it is, now?
-- At--at-- At the time, ah, Qualcomm paid --
--Ohh.
-- -- for the renovations. And, for all I know it's -- there's a new name now, ag-again ...
-- Well, in downtown San Diego, there's like Petco... Stadium...
-- Petco Park!
-- ... or something like that.
-- Right.
-- And ... uh -- the only reason why I know that is because it's right next to where Comic-con is.
-- Right. Yeah.
-- Is that the one you're talking about?
-''- I don't know.''
-- Oh. You --
-- (deadpan) Um, I'm talking about Qualcomm Stadium.
-- (laughs) I KNOW THAT. I was talking about GEOGRAPHICALLY.
-- (laughs) I have no -- I'm lost.
-- (laughing) Okay.
-- Um, i just remember a guy on the news saying, "We can call it the Q!"
-- (mock-impressed) Oh!
-- And then, there's -- there's an ad that used to play -- and maybe still does -- advertising San Diego's, like, trolley system ...
-- Mm. I like the trolley there.
-- ... and if you--it--it--it rhymed: "If you wanna take a swim we can take you to the surf /And if you want to see the game we can take you to The Murph", because it used to be called ''Jack Murphy Stadium''...
-- Riight.
-- ... and then they just changed it. They changed the song: "We can take you to the Q". But it doesn't rhyme with 'surf'.
-- No.
-- Um. Okay, it says--says to "[s]kip the soggy pizzas" ...
-- Mkay.
-- ..."head towards the BBQ and sausages" -- we were going to do that anyway.
-- Mm-hm.
-- Um, "[...] to reference this guide before braving it all. [...]Kinder's BBQ:" ... It's "a crowd pleaser". Barbecued sirloin.
-- Mmm. That sounds delicious.
-- ''"Ribs and Things" ''-- what kind of '<nowiki/>''things''' do you think? Like ribs ...
-- I dunno, what are ribs attached to? The spine?
-- Ribs and vertebrae.
-(together) Yeah,
-J- that's probably what it is. "[...] make a beeline for this BBQ stand every season for [their] tender pork ribs and ''moist tri-tip''".
-A- Moist.
-- Is tri-tip like the tri-corner hats?
-- It is -- it is a triangular-shaped piece of meat.
-- Really?
-- Yes.
-- Okay. So ... like old-... old-timey, like, colonial-times people would wear them on their ''heads''.
-- (chuckles) Yes. Because they just had, you know, ''beef to spare''.
-(both laugh)
-J- "Saag's Club Level".
-A- That's what I'm thinkin' about. But --
-- I got excited, because I assumed 'saag' was indian food.
-- Nooo (laughs) it's-it's-it's, like, sausages.
-- Mmerh. Okay, that's still good.
-- It is good.
-- The Burger Shack. Oh -- Wait waiwait. is this ... "Field Level"? Oh, this is just like --
-- Like telling you, like, where. The -- the three standouts --
-- I-- I had assumed, like, 'Field Level' was, like, a ranking, that they -- like a ... a fancy way of saying "This is, like," (superior tone) "''at-ground-level'' food!"
-- No. (suppressing laugh) It's literal food, on the ground level. (laughs)
-- It's food you find on the ground.
-- (laughing) Yes.
-- Ah, "Plaza Level". Wait, I should see if they have any adjectives. No adjectives ...
-- I think --
-- "A selection of ice cream bars and sandwiches", that's ...
-- I think it's now just, like, telling you'' '''all the places you can eat'.
-- It's not just like -- okay, this one says it's a ''<nowiki/>'safe bet'''.
-- "Delhi 215".
-- Okay, so -- D'you think... d'you think Chloe (pronouncing slowly) ''Schildhause... ''ate everything? Or, like ate something from every one of these places?
-- I'd sure hope so.
-- Because, like... I think what happened, was that she ordered three things from Kinder's BBQ; Ribs and Things; and Saag's Club Level; and was full. And then, just, was descriptive for the rest of it.
-- It's possible...
-- You know, y--they don't pay these reporters much nowadays.
-- Yeah, I don't think they pay them at all. Do they?
-- I mean ... I--I'm--I'm presuming that the ''San Francisco Eater -- ''Wait, this is ''Sophia Lorenzi.'' Who was Claudia--Chloe Schildhause? Who's --
-- (I-don't-know hum)
-- Wait. So this ... ''the byline is Sophia Lorenzi,'' ''but then it's signed Chloe's Schildhause.''
-<nowiki> </nowiki>- Something is afoot! I think we need to hire an investigative journalist!
-- ''We are'' ''the investigative journalists!''
-<nowiki> </nowiki>- Oh right.
-- Okay, well: According to this, we should eat the BBQ stuff.
-- (agreeably) Okay.
-- That's good enough for me.
-- I'll eat BBQ tonight.
-- Alright! Ah -- now that we've got that out of the way, we still have to keep ''talking into this phone'' until we arrive.
-- Or we could just mimic the wind.
-(both attempt to mimic the wind) (A. laughs)
-A - (addressing audience, laughing) Jim can apparently whistle and hum at the same time and it's really disturbing and funny.
-J - You can't tell, though, because of all the wind.
-- Right. You'll just have to take my word on it. Wait, who used to say that? "But don't take ''my'' word for it!"
-- Ah, that was -- um ...
-- The ''Reading Rainbow'' guy! Right?
-- Yeahhh, the guy with the slit-eye ...
-- Wat?
-- The s-the slit sunglasses? Over his face?
-- (laughs) Oh, that was when he was on ''Star Trek'', not when he was on the ''Reading Rainbow!''
--Oh. Um. LeVar Burton.
-- Oh, yeah.
-- Yeah, no I remem- and - didn't he, like, Kickstart a ...
-- ... ''Reading Rainbow'' again, and then like, just, keep all the money, or something?
-- I--I don't know. But we can--we can find this out.
-- (warning) We're almost at the stadium...
-- Yeah, well ...
-- ''Will we Google it in time, Readers?!''
-- Uh.
-- (wryly) Oh wait, you're not Readers. You're'' Listeners.''
-- (typing) 'reading rainbow' -- they're Readers if they go to the transcript ...
-- That's true.
-- "''Reading Rainbow'' is an American children's TV series that aired on PBS kids" -- Sorry, guys; that's all the time we have for w--... for w--...
-- For -- for ''Stadium Hot Dog.''
-- Yeah. Also, like, did Reading Rainbow defraud our--our children?
-- De-''de''fraud them?
-- That's a word.
-- I-I mean I know; but, like, it just ...
-- Um.
-- I'm just trying to understand what it's-- what they're trying to say.
-- Okay, where's the Kickstarter? "Accolades". (reads) Oh, it got relaunched as a app? ... There's an app. It was presented the Worldwide Developer's Conference.
-- Unh-hunh?
-It's ar--i--iPhone-- it's an iPad app.
-- Okay.
-- Well, that's... oh-- no no. And there's another thing: "Kickstarter revival campaign and aftermath". Okay, anything with an 'aftermath' is bad news.
-- It is.
-- All right, ah, talk to you later, guys. We're trying to get ...
-- Off the train.
-- Off the train.
-- Good night!
-- Good night.

Changes: Beef Despair

Latest revision as of 23:10, 15 April 2019