No edit summary Tags: Visual edit apiedit |
No edit summary Tags: Visual edit apiedit |
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Line 15: | Line 15: | ||
- What's up? |
- What's up? |
||
− | - ... Did you ever do that train -- the Train Hot Dogs that we did when we were on the road trip? |
+ | - ... Did you ever do that train -- the Train Hot Dogs that we did, ah, when we were on the road trip? |
- I did post those, yes. |
- I did post those, yes. |
||
Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
- Ah, this -- that's right, yeah; also, from "[[Steam Hot Dog]]". |
- Ah, this -- that's right, yeah; also, from "[[Steam Hot Dog]]". |
||
− | - That's right |
+ | - That's right! |
− | - Ah, this |
+ | - Ah, this Rider's from the 516 area code. This Rider writes, "What the fuck?" Or I ... so I assume; it could be any four-letter word that starts with 'F', and then has three asterisks. |
- Yeah like what the ff... |
- Yeah like what the ff... |
||
Line 33: | Line 33: | ||
- Fart. |
- Fart. |
||
− | - (dryly) |
+ | - (dryly) "What the fart"? |
- (laughs) |
- (laughs) |
||
Line 41: | Line 41: | ||
- That's a lot of mail. |
- That's a lot of mail. |
||
− | - Yeah this is all of - mail that i have looked at and |
+ | - Yeah this is all of Re- mail that i have looked at and marked -- or -- ''and/or'' marked as 'Read.' And there's another one that I marked as 'Unread.' Here we go: this Rider is from the Gustav Klimt area code. This Rider writes, "Gustav Klimt has sent you a $15 Subway eGift Card!" |
- (impressed) Wow. |
- (impressed) Wow. |
||
Line 49: | Line 49: | ||
- Maybe we can get Subway at the stadium. |
- Maybe we can get Subway at the stadium. |
||
− | - Maybe. (thinks) Ah, but, um ... in case we don't, what else might we find at the stadium? |
+ | - Maybe. (thinks) Ah, but, um ..''. in case we don't'', what else might we find at the stadium? |
- I dunno; we should Google it. |
- I dunno; we should Google it. |
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Line 57: | Line 57: | ||
- Oh. But there's a ... (laughs, realizing) you were asking ''me''. (laughs) |
- Oh. But there's a ... (laughs, realizing) you were asking ''me''. (laughs) |
||
− | - Yes! (laughs) |
+ | - Yes! (laughs) So -- |
- There are hot dogs ... |
- There are hot dogs ... |
||
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- Bratwursts, okay ... |
- Bratwursts, okay ... |
||
− | - ... um, beer? |
+ | - ... um, beer? ... |
- (repeats) Beer. |
- (repeats) Beer. |
||
− | - |
+ | - ... by the bucket ... |
- (amused) Really? They sell buckets? |
- (amused) Really? They sell buckets? |
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<span>(train noises start getting louder)</span> |
<span>(train noises start getting louder)</span> |
||
− | - Ah ... there are nachos ... |
+ | - Ah ... there are ... nachos ... |
<span class="">(train noises start getting very loud)</span> |
<span class="">(train noises start getting very loud)</span> |
||
Line 91: | Line 91: | ||
(train noises suddenly grow very quiet again) |
(train noises suddenly grow very quiet again) |
||
− | - |
+ | - They have burritos ...? |
- ... steak sandwiches ... (CUT) |
- ... steak sandwiches ... (CUT) |
||
Line 97: | Line 97: | ||
- (impressed) Whoa. |
- (impressed) Whoa. |
||
− | - |
+ | - I think. I believe I've seen those before. There's ... |
- (thinking it over) Okay ... |
- (thinking it over) Okay ... |
||
− | - ... (CUT) |
+ | - ... y'know ... -- (CUT) -- and, ah, chocolate malts ... |
- (jazzed) Oh, man. Malts're pretty delicious. |
- (jazzed) Oh, man. Malts're pretty delicious. |
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Line 111: | Line 111: | ||
- That's what they come with! |
- That's what they come with! |
||
− | - So, is this literally just a |
+ | - So, is this literally just a bo-- like a melted-down box of Whoppers? |
− | - No, it's like ice cream |
+ | - No, it's like ice cream. Chocolate malt ice cream. |
- I see. Okay, so ... ah this, I searched for 'stadium food' and the results are all "Best Stadium Food", or "Insane Stadium Foods". what I'm actually looking for is, like, "Most Regular Stadium Foods". I'll -- 'kay -- I'll search for ''that''. |
- I see. Okay, so ... ah this, I searched for 'stadium food' and the results are all "Best Stadium Food", or "Insane Stadium Foods". what I'm actually looking for is, like, "Most Regular Stadium Foods". I'll -- 'kay -- I'll search for ''that''. |
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Line 125: | Line 125: | ||
- Yeahh, let's just ... |
- Yeahh, let's just ... |
||
− | - (flatly) For pooping. |
+ | - (flatly) For ''pooping.'' |
− | - ... prunes on a stick. ... Ehh! (disbelieving) I searched for 'most regular' and it gave me |
+ | - ... prunes on a stick. ... Ehh! (disbelieving) I searched for 'most regular' and it gave me "Most Insane"! |
- (chuckles) |
- (chuckles) |
Revision as of 02:37, 16 September 2016
[My other episode transcript is a porsche]
J: Welcome to Train Hot Dog, the podcast where i talk to myself on a train. I'm here with special guest, April.
A: Where he's also talking to me. So it's not just himself.
-Also to you, the listener! Today we're going to be talking about stadium food. But first: Rider Mail!
- (laughs)
- Alright, hang on when I find the Rider Mail; I have --
- Hey -- did you ever...
- What's up?
- ... Did you ever do that train -- the Train Hot Dogs that we did, ah, when we were on the road trip?
- I did post those, yes.
- I'm that person.
- Ah, this -- that's right, yeah; also, from "Steam Hot Dog".
- That's right!
- Ah, this Rider's from the 516 area code. This Rider writes, "What the fuck?" Or I ... so I assume; it could be any four-letter word that starts with 'F', and then has three asterisks.
- Yeah like what the ff...
- Fork.
- Fart.
- (dryly) "What the fart"?
- (laughs)
- Ah, there's another Rider Mail if I can just find it...(pause)
- That's a lot of mail.
- Yeah this is all of Re- mail that i have looked at and marked -- or -- and/or marked as 'Read.' And there's another one that I marked as 'Unread.' Here we go: this Rider is from the Gustav Klimt area code. This Rider writes, "Gustav Klimt has sent you a $15 Subway eGift Card!"
- (impressed) Wow.
- "...Your Subway eGift Card is redeemable at participating stores in the U.S. via the Subway App, or via order.subway.com. Click the link below to claim your gift!"
- Maybe we can get Subway at the stadium.
- Maybe. (thinks) Ah, but, um ... in case we don't, what else might we find at the stadium?
- I dunno; we should Google it.
- Oh.
- Oh. But there's a ... (laughs, realizing) you were asking me. (laughs)
- Yes! (laughs) So --
- There are hot dogs ...
- Presumably they have Cream Of Wheat.
- (pronounces each food very distinctly) ... Bratwursts ...
- Bratwursts, okay ...
- ... um, beer? ...
- (repeats) Beer.
- ... by the bucket ...
- (amused) Really? They sell buckets?
- Buckets of beer.
- Uh huh?
(train noises start getting louder)
- Ah ... there are ... nachos ...
(train noises start getting very loud)
- (louder) Uh huh?
- ... burritos ...
(train noises suddenly grow very quiet again)
- They have burritos ...?
- ... steak sandwiches ... (CUT)
- (impressed) Whoa.
- I think. I believe I've seen those before. There's ...
- (thinking it over) Okay ...
- ... y'know ... -- (CUT) -- and, ah, chocolate malts ...
- (jazzed) Oh, man. Malts're pretty delicious.
- Yeah, you eat them with a wooden spoon.
- Really?
- That's what they come with!
- So, is this literally just a bo-- like a melted-down box of Whoppers?
- No, it's like ice cream. Chocolate malt ice cream.
- I see. Okay, so ... ah this, I searched for 'stadium food' and the results are all "Best Stadium Food", or "Insane Stadium Foods". what I'm actually looking for is, like, "Most Regular Stadium Foods". I'll -- 'kay -- I'll search for that.
- 'most common ...'
- 'most regular ..."
- (approving) 'most regular...' the one -- like, they keep you regular?
- Yeahh, let's just ...
- (flatly) For pooping.
- ... prunes on a stick. ... Ehh! (disbelieving) I searched for 'most regular' and it gave me "Most Insane"!
- (chuckles)
- (to search engine) This is the opposite of what I want, DuckDuckGo! ... Ridiculous.
- Uhm-hm.
- 'Ridiculous Stadium Foods'.
- Oh there's -- look: '6 Regular..."
- Yeah, it's ... yeah, OK ...
- It says it right there.
- ... yeah, that word is included.
- Yup.
- Ah, "Highest Prices" (listing with contempt), "Best", "Best" ...
- Let's search for 'best Oakland A's food'.
- (laughing) ... Okay ...
- Because that's where we're going.
- Okay. (typing again) 'best oak land' -- (declares) "The Land of Oaks!"
- "Until We Cut them All Down."
- (wryly) I tried to type 'A's' and it said 'ass'.
- (chuckles) That's ... pretty much how they've been playing this year.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- (like a catchphrase) Sports!
(both laugh)
J: Ah ... "What to Eat at the Coliseum, Home of the Oakland A's" Eater--
A: Oh there we go; this looks promising.
- "Eater SF." This is good; I'm glad we did this. Eater: "In stark opposition to the glorious food options at AT&T Park" -- where's AT&T Park?
- That's in San Francisco.
- Is that the Giants' thing?
- Yes.
- Okay. ... They don't call that, just, "The Giants Stadium"?
- Non-None of them get called by their real name 'cause they're all sponsored by huge com-- big companies.
- Right. Yeah, I remember when, ah --
- It's the world we live in.
- -- Jack Murphy Stadium in uh, San Diego was getting renovations, and the city couldn't pay for the renovations ...
- Petco ... Park, or whatever it is, now?
- At the time, ah, Qualcomm paid for the renovations.
-Ohh.
- And, for all I know it's -- there's a new name now, ag-again ...
- Well, in downtown San Diego, there's like Petco... Stadium...
- Petco Park!
- ... or something like that.
- Right.
- And ... uh -- the only reason why I know that is because it's right next to where Comic-con is.
- Right. Yeah.
- Is that the one you're talking about?
- I don't know.
- Oh. You should --
- (deadpan) Um, I'm talking about Qualcomm Stadium.
- (laughs) I KNOW THAT. I was talking about GEOGRAPHICALLY.
- (laughs) I have no -- I'm lost.
- (laughing) Okay.
- Um, i just remember a guy on the news saying, "We can call it the Q!"
- (mock-impressed) Oh!
- And then. There's -- there's an ad that used to play -- and maybe still does -- advertising San Diego's, like, trolley system ...
- Mmm. I like the trolley there.
- ... and if you--it--it--it rhymed: "If you wanna take a swim we can take you to the surf /And if you want to see the game we can take you to The Murph", because it used to be called Jack Murphy Stadium...
- Right.
- ... and then they just changed it. They changed the song: "We can take you to the Q", but it doesn't rhyme with 'surf'.
- No.
- Um. Okay, it says to "[s]kip the soggy pizzas" ...
- Mkay.
- ..."head towards the BBQ and sausages" -- we were going to do that anyway.
- Mm-hm.
- Um, "[...] to reference this guide before braving it all. [...]Kinder's BBQ:" ... It's "a crowd pleaser". Barbecued sirloin.
- Mmm. That sounds delicious.
- "Ribs and Things" -- what kind of 'things' do you think? Like ribs ...
- I dunno, what are ribs attached to? The spine?
- Ribs and vertebrae.
(together) Yeah,
J- that's probably what it is. "[...] make a beeline for this BBQ stand every season for [their] tender pork ribs and moist tri-tip".
A- Moist.
- Is tri-tip like the tri-corner hats?
- It is -- it is a triangular-shaped piece of meat.
- Really?
- Yes.
-Okay. So ... like old-... old-timey, like, colonial-times people would wear them on their heads.
- (chuckles) Yes because they just had, you know beef to spare.
(both laugh)
J- "Saag's Club Level".
A- That's what I'm thinking about. But --
- I got excited, because I assumed 'saag' was indian food.
- Nooo (laughs) it's-it's-it's, like, sausages.
- Mmerh. Okay, that's still good.
- It is good.
- The Burger Shack. Oh -- Wait waiwait. is this ... "Field Level"? Oh this is just like --
- Like telling you, like, where. The -- the three standouts --
- I-- I had assumed, like, 'Field Level' was, like, a ranking, that they -- like a ... a fancy way of saying "This is, like," (superior tone) "at-ground-level food!"
- No. (suppressing laugh) It's literal food, on the ground level. (laughs)
- It's food you find on the ground.
- (laughing) Yes.
- Ah, "Plaza Level". Wait, I should see if they have any adjectives. No adjectives ...
- I think --
- "A selection of ice cream bars and sandwiches", that's ...
- I think it's now just, like, telling you 'all the places you can eat'.
- It's not just like -- okay, this one says it's a 'safe bet'.
- "Delhi 215."
- Okay, so -- D'you think... d'you think Chloe (pronouncing slowly)Schildhause... ate everything? Or, like ate something from every one of these places?
- I sure hope so.
- Because, like... I think what happened, was that she ordered three things from Kinder's BBQ, Ribs and Things, and Saag's Club Level, and was full; and then just was descriptive for the rest of it.
- It's possible...
- You know, y--they don't pay these reporters much nowadays.
- Yeah, I don't think they pay them at all. Do they?
- I mean ... I--I--I'm presuming that the San Francisco Eater -- Wait, this is Sophia Lorenzi. Who was Claudia--Chloe Schildhause? Who's.
- (I-don't-know hum)
- Wait. So this ... the byline is Sophia Lorenzi but then it's signed Chloe's Schildhause.
- Something is afoot! I think we need to hire an investigative journalist!
- We are the investigative journalists!
- Oh right.
- Okay, well: According to this, we should eat the BBQ stuff.
- (agreeably) Okay.
- That's good enough for me.
- I'll eat BBQ tonight.
- Alright! Ah -- now that we've got that out of the way, we still have to keep talking into this phone until we arrive.
- Or we could just mimic the wind.
(both attempt to mimic the wind) (A. laughs)
A - (addressing audience, laughing) Jim can apparently whistle and hum at the same time and it's really disturbing and funny.
J - You can't tell, though, because of all the wind.
- Right. You'll just have to take my word on it. Wait, who used to say that? "But don't take my word for it!"
- Ah, that was -- um ...
- The Reading Rainbow guy! Right?
- Yeahhh, the guy with the slit-eye ...
- Wat?
- The s-the slit sunglasses? Over his face?
- (laughs) Oh, that was when he was on Star Trek, not when he was on the Reading Rainbow!
-Oh. Um. LeVar Burton.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, no I remem- and - didn't he, like, Kickstart a ...
- ... Reading Rainbow again, and then like, just, keep all the money, or something?
- I--I don't know. But we can--we can find this out.
- (warning) We're almost at the stadium...
- Yeah, well ...
- Will we Google it in time, Readers?!
- Um.
- (wryly) Oh wait, you're not Readers. You're Listeners.
- (typing) 'reading rainbow' -- They're Readers if they go to the transcript.
- That's true.
- "Reading Rainbow is an American children's TV series that aired on PBS kids." Sorry, guys; that's all the time we have for ... for ...
- For our first Stadium Hot Dog.
- Yeah. Also, like, did Reading Rainbow defraud our--our children?
- De-defraud them?
- That's a word.
- I-I mean I know; but, like, it just ...
- Um.
- I'm just trying to understand what it's-- what they're trying to say.
- Okay, where's the Kickstarter? "Accolades". (reads) Oh, it got relaunched as a app? ... There's an app. It was presented the Worldwide Developer's Conference.
- Unh-hunh?
It's ar--i--iPhone-- it's an iPad app.
- Okay.
- Well, that's... oh-- no no. And there's another thing: "Kickstarter revival campaign and aftermath". Okay, anything with an 'aftermath' is bad news.
- It is.
- All right, ah, talk to you later, guys. We're trying to get ...
- Off the train.
- Off the train.
- Good night!
- Good night.